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Star Trek: Picard (CBS All-Access)


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And there it is... the lurching, cadaverous wretch called Star Trek: Picard violently crap itself and died.  Next week, emergency services arrives to tag 'em and bag 'em.

We're not just back to the same trash-tier writing that has been Picard's stock in trade for almost its entire run, the writers were apparently so desperate for some way to put a bow on this turd and hope we wouldn't notice the stench that they forgot the existence of the entire previous season.

Mind you, the entire previous season was pretty forgettable even by the standards of NuTrek, but still... this is 1/3 of the total runtime of the Picard series they apparently forgot about!

Spoiler

This is some J.J. Abrams level bullshit... almost the exact same bullshit from The Rise of Skywalker.

"Somehow, the Borg returned..."

Despite Borg technology having always been explicitly and purely technological in every prior appearance.  Apparently Jean-Luc Picard never had Irumodic syndrome, what he was suffering from was some kind of Borg biotechnology that also causes telepathy or something?  And passed that on to his son somehow, despite that being technology not genetic material.  FFS, this is what happens when your writers parents opt them out of sex-ed class in school.  Picard's answer to this revelation is to try to send Jack away to a Vulcan insane asylum?  Jack uses his powers to turn the guards sent to escort him against Picard.

Oh boy, Jack is one of those characters... the ones who persistently hear voices and never think to, y'know, get that crap checked out.  There's no stigma against getting mental health care in the spacefuture guys, did you forget?  Jack steals a shuttlecraft and warps away, because whatever.  A Borg cube conveniently shows up to collect him.

We get the revelation that the Borg apparently undergo genetic modifications to somehow make their implants work better, but for some reason Picard allegedly received a different kind of modification for no clear reason.

Having learned absolutely nothing - or forgotten that the previous season happened at all - Starfleet launches the Enterprise-F to introduce the same fleet-wide command and control network that was a key plot fixture in the previous season.  

Jack beams aboard the Borg cube to confront the Borg Queen and accomplishes nothing except apparently getting assimilated.  The renegade Founders have apparently been working for the Borg, because that makes sense somehow.

Transporters alter your DNA now?  That's kind of not how they're supposed to work AT ALL.  But apparently the Changelings have been sabotaging Starfleet's transporters to modify everyone's DNA to contain the Borg DNA from Picard's brain so everyone can be mind controlled... but this DNA also magically does not work on anyone older than physical maturity in their species.  Do the writers even know how DNA works?

So the Borg show up and everyone who used a transporter under the age of 25 is apparently magically assimilated by this DNA the transporter somehow magically inserted into them AND spontaneously develop Borg nanoprobes that physically assimilate them because that makes sense somehow.  Admiral Shelby is gunned down by her own crew, and the Excelsior's crew manage to regain control of their ship just in time for it to get destroyed by the rest of the fleet.  Captain Shaw also gets killed in the crew's escape from the Titan, which is a shame because he was the only likeable character in crap miserable shitshow of a series.  

The crew flee back to the fleet museum, where Geordi reveals he had the Enterprise-D rebuilt using the salvaged saucer section from Veridian III and a new battle section using parts salvaged from other ships.  Why the crew thinks a now badly obsolete starship is going to accomplish anything other than getting shot to pieces is left as an exercise for the viewer, since presumably display pieces in the fleet museum are not properly fueled or armed.  We also learn the Enterprise-E was apparently destroyed at some point and Worf claims he's not responsible.  Picard muses about how much he missed the carpet.  

 

This turdburger of a series literally cannot be retconned out fast enough for my taste.  What a goddamn mess.  This might actually be worse than Discovery's first season.

 As per their usual idiom, this season has amassed quite the body count.  The series as a whole has killed off more legacy characters than any other by an enormous margin:

  • The entire Romulan Star Empire
  • Hugh
  • Bruce Maddox
  • Data's recovered consciousness
  • Jean-Luc Picard
  • The Borg Queen of the Confederacy timeline
  • All Borg Queens everywhere in the multiverse (via destiny)
  • Agnes Jurati
  • Cristobel Rios (via time travel)
  • Q
  • Ro Laren
  • Alton Soong
  • Data's recovered consciousness (again)
  • Lore's recovered consciousness
  • Lal's recovered consciousness
  • Alton Soong's recovered consciousness 

and now...

Spoiler
  • Elizabeth Shelby
  • Liam Shaw
  • USS Excelsior
  • USS Enterprise-E
  • Possibly Elnor, since his last known posting was the Excelsior.

 

 

1 hour ago, CoryHolmes said:

This is because I'm convinced that every member of the Soong family have been clones of the original, Arik Soong.  He was the geneticist who worked with the Augments, so he's got the knowledge and the arrogance to make it work :good:

I'd be OK with that explanation had Star Trek not established on multiple prior occasions that repeatedly cloning the same individual leads to fatal genetic degradation in a lot shorter timeframe than what we've seen for the identical Soong family history.

Edited by Seto Kaiba
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I liked this episode but I'm also like, wait how is the possible? That's more than a little stupid but damn they did a good job of telling it.

Apparently in Star Fleet there's nobody between the ages of 25 and 50 years old. This grand plan of the changelings would doom them as well. If I'm not mistaken didn't they solve and make peace with this in season 2 of Picard? It was a really bad season but try working with what they gave you instead of pretending it didn't happen.

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2 hours ago, Roy Focker said:

... in Star Fleet there's nobody between the ages of 25 and 50 years old. This grand plan of the changelings would doom them as well. If I'm not mistaken didn't they solve and make peace with this in season 2 of Picard? It was a really bad season but try working with what they gave you instead of pretending it didn't happen.

Spoiler

Well, they were all being shot by the Lts and Ensigns, maybe crewmens too (can't forget the enlisted kids). You know, the cannon fodder. Red shirts? Yellow shirts? The Borg won't care much about the Changelings. Just another race to assimilate.

On a side note...

Spoiler

It won't be home without Majel Barrett doing the computer voice. Bless her for doing voiceover work before she passed. Oh and Alice Krige doing the Borg Queen again.

And...

Spoiler

I will have to agree with Worf with his sentiment. I'd feel much better going into the frying pan with E's armaments as opposed to D's.

 

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@Seto Kaiba mentioned one thing that Terry Matalas mentioned in his write up: He didn't want it in this particular season at all. 

Now the question is this: How in the snot in the world are they going to close this season off? I'm guessing that two or more ancient relics are going to leave their retirement phase and play an role in the finale as much as to Geordie's dismay and there's one more character that still needs to reprise his role.  

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2 hours ago, borgified said:

Now the question is this: How in the snot in the world are they going to close this season off? I'm guessing that two or more ancient relics are going to leave their retirement phase and play an role in the finale as much as to Geordie's dismay and there's one more character that still needs to reprise his role.  

At this point, I don't think there's any non-bullshit way for the writers to salvage this one.

The

Spoiler

Enterprise-D

is a literal museum piece that is at least 30 years out of date compared to the rest of Starfleet.  As it was intended for display and nothing more, it would be quite odd for the ship to be fueled, never mind equipped with live weaponry like photon torpedoes.  It lacks the advanced weapons and defensive systems developed to fight the Borg that manifested in the ships of the Dominion War era and beyond.  It's designed for a crew of a thousand, and it's being operated by seven senior citizens and a middle aged ex-Borg drone.

For their part, 

Spoiler

the Borg have already assimilated everyone who was 25 or under at the time Vadic set her plan into action and the entire fleet assembled for Frontier Day and very possibly the majority of Earth's populace.  The Starfleet officers who were not young enough to be affected were either killed by the new drones or possibly assimilated themselves by force, with the few (if any) ships that resisted the Borg's control even temporarily being destroyed.  They've got a Borg cube and the entire assimilated fleet of far newer, more potent ships at their disposal.

I can't see a way out of this that doesn't involve some never-before-seen bullshit or an incredibly weak attempt to sweep this all under the rug.

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Spoiler

They could also use the Santo Paulo (Defiant II) but there’s no cloaking device, ablative armour nor heavy duty warheads to inflict damage on the Cube for that matter. 

So it’s old fossils against the rest of the armanda? They better do this right has we know the final chapter title is “Last Generation”. 

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Even with that very limited available screenings, there are people voicing out their opinions on that and guarantee that us Canuckle Heads that are also Trekkers get the short end of the stick as it’s only for the neighbours south of the 49th parallel. 

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8 hours ago, Seto Kaiba said:

At this point, I don't think there's any non-bullshit way for the writers to salvage this one.

The

  Hide contents

Enterprise-D

is a literal museum piece that is at least 30 years out of date compared to the rest of Starfleet.  As it was intended for display and nothing more, it would be quite odd for the ship to be fueled, never mind equipped with live weaponry like photon torpedoes.  It lacks the advanced weapons and defensive systems developed to fight the Borg that manifested in the ships of the Dominion War era and beyond.  It's designed for a crew of a thousand, and it's being operated by seven senior citizens and a middle aged ex-Borg drone.

For their part, 

  Hide contents

the Borg have already assimilated everyone who was 25 or under at the time Vadic set her plan into action and the entire fleet assembled for Frontier Day and very possibly the majority of Earth's populace.  The Starfleet officers who were not young enough to be affected were either killed by the new drones or possibly assimilated themselves by force, with the few (if any) ships that resisted the Borg's control even temporarily being destroyed.  They've got a Borg cube and the entire assimilated fleet of far newer, more potent ships at their disposal.

I can't see a way out of this that doesn't involve some never-before-seen bullshit or an incredibly weak attempt to sweep this all under the rug.

I sense a Borg civil war coming up with Jurati trying to hack the other Borg's "network" on Picard's behalf. >_>

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19 hours ago, Seto Kaiba said:

I'd be OK with that explanation had Star Trek not established on multiple prior occasions that repeatedly cloning the same individual leads to fatal genetic degradation in a lot shorter timeframe than what we've seen for the identical Soong family history.

I am aghast!  I dear say, aghast, my good sir!  How dare you bring up a thing like canon into Star Trek, a franchise famous for tossing out plot points before the episode is even done???

 

That being said, you have a good point.  I think I'll have to stretch my theory to its limits and say that Arik Soong was just that damned good at genetics that he's left the Federation behind.

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6 hours ago, pengbuzz said:

I sense a Borg civil war coming up with Jurati trying to hack the other Borg's "network" on Picard's behalf. >_>

That's what I don't understand.  Jurati and the Queen merged centuries ago in the past, changed their ways and made peace with the Feds. Why are they still a threat after season 2?

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For me the only draw back from this season is odd choices in writing and the apparent inability to look back one year. And having too many enemies.

Spoiler

Yes, Jurati joined with the Borg Queen, so they should not be a threat. Their tech could be, esp if they had stayed with the Changelings using this new bio-mechanical method of assimilation in order to control and destroy the Federation. Which I think is good! I like the idea of Locutus being a Hail Mary for the Borg, as a seed for this new approach and using the transporters as a path of 'infection.' 

But again, it would have been better if they had stayed with just the Changelings as the threat. Switching to the Borg, esp at the very end, adds too much complexity to the plot.

I'm still 'in it,' but they could have left that out. 

Edited by Thom
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4 hours ago, CoryHolmes said:

I am aghast!  I dear say, aghast, my good sir!  How dare you bring up a thing like canon into Star Trek, a franchise famous for tossing out plot points before the episode is even done???

By Jove!  Truly my roguish mischief knows no restraint or penalty!

 

4 hours ago, CoryHolmes said:

That being said, you have a good point.  I think I'll have to stretch my theory to its limits and say that Arik Soong was just that damned good at genetics that he's left the Federation behind.

The only reason it came to mind at all is that that's one of the few details that just keeps coming back.  Almost every time cloning has come up as a topic (for sentient beings), there is mention of a gene sequence degradation that is a product of the cloning process that can easily out someone as a clone and that keeps someone from being cloned over and over again forever.

 

1 hour ago, Roy Focker said:

That's what I don't understand.  Jurati and the Queen merged centuries ago in the past, changed their ways and made peace with the Feds. Why are they still a threat after season 2?

I have the same question.

Jurati merged with an alternate timeline's Borg Queen after that timeline's Borg Collective was wiped out and came back to her original universe where the Borg Queen was dead and took over that Borg Collective to ally with the Federation as a new, benevolent Borg.

What sofa cushion was the original Borg Queen hiding under all this time?  Especially one deep enough to fool the other version of herself in the alternate universe who had multi-dimensional awareness.

 

40 minutes ago, Thom said:
  Hide contents

But again, it would have been better if they had stayed with just the Changelings as the threat. Switching to the Borg, esp at the very end, adds too much complexity to the plot.

Yeah, all in all changing antagonists with just two episodes to go is... problematic... for the writing.  Especially since the new antagonist they chose was largely declawed by Star Trek: Voyager and has had no prior involvement with the antagonist they went with for the first eight episodes.

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22 minutes ago, Seto Kaiba said:

Yeah, all in all changing antagonists with just two episodes to go is... problematic... for the writing.  Especially since the new antagonist they chose was largely declawed by Star Trek: Voyager and has had no prior involvement with the antagonist they went with for the first eight episodes.

Well, since they are using the Borg, that they have been defeated so many times by the Federation demands that they switch their tactics from a blunt force approach to the more subtle. And if we consider Jurati's Borg as a separate 'tribe,' existing in parallel but in hiding since the past timeline events of season 2, then that leaves the remnant Borg left over from Janeway's attack.

Which doesn't explain the line about having no contact with Borg (no determination) for the last decade. (or more.) The writing fell short at that point. But's that's how I'll look at in the absence of a better explanation.

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1 hour ago, Mommar said:

"Lightsabers!.. Tie Fighters!... Borgses!...  Enterprises!.."

And all the idiots clapped.

 

Well, with that opinion, it's a good thing you didn't watch any of it.:p

Edited by Thom
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I actually read your write up in Gollum’s voice (Andy Serkis) @Mommar😆

There’s a bunch of “theories” on how this  season is going to end. Let’s see if they actually come true or not for next week. 
 

Note: Why some people still believe that Alison Peel’s sect will come over after what Terry and Todd had mentioned before??  Cue up the X-Files theme here. 

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I don't know if the producers are trying to distract the fan base from all of the season's flaws with that ultimate bit of Star Trek nostalgia, but if that's their intention with last night's episode it definitely worked on me.  I don't think I've ever cheered or teared up like I did with the last episode in those last few minutes.  I LOVE that freaking ship! 

Between Top Gun Maverick last year and the big D this year, for once I'm glad to be an 80's kid...

Edited by myk
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We know they're going to somehow save the day, but the Federation is still doomed.

Every crewman under 25 been turned and killed every crewman over 25. They'll turn the junior crew back to normal, but the veterans will still be dead. There will not be enough experienced members to crew these ships. You've got the Enterprize D Command Crew and Officers serving on Star Bases to take command of all of Star Fleet but that's not enough to defend the Federation from the next invasion. Newly appointed 19-year-old Captains will be outsmarted by the Ferengi who keeps tricking them to trade their ships for magic beans.

 

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Did anyone here briefly explain the similarities between Jellico and Shaw to a slight degree (or did I read it somewhere else)? 

Just before I forget, Will Wheaton will be digging further into this episode in the Ready Room tomorrow as it was pushed back from it’s original air date to prevent spoilers from leaking out before this episode went live. Have no idea if the actress playing the Fleet Admiral will show up. 
 

 

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14 hours ago, myk said:

I don't know if the producers are trying to distract the fan base from all of the season's flaws with that ultimate bit of Star Trek nostalgia, but if that's their intention with last night's episode it definitely worked on me.  I don't think I've ever cheered or teared up like I did with the last episode in those last few minutes.  I LOVE that freaking ship! 

Between Top Gun Maverick last year and the big D this year, for once I'm glad to be an 80's kid...

Truth, truth, truth.  It may be pandering, but by God I am here for that!

If I might be allowed to necro my own post:

On 2/7/2020 at 10:42 PM, CoryHolmes said:

He said it!  He said the line!  That makes everything better, he said the line! :yahoo:

 

But he said it SO MUCH BETTER HERE! In S1 it was more of a nostalgia thing, a "I used to do this here" thing.  Here, it's because he is BACK!  No more the Admiral in an office, waiting for his time to die.  This is the man picking up where he left off and ready to save the galaxy again.  His voice was stronger, and I swear he stood a little straighter before sitting in his chair.  Ladies and Gentlemen, the Captain has returned.

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Just watched ep. 9 last night and what can I say...

YES, YES and YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! (with double fists!) – Starfleet's finest and best starship is back, Galaxy class forever!

Now if the wormhole beings are with me, there will be a saucer separation and we finally get to see the stardrive section in full glorious battle action.

Also it is interesting that Geordi/producers didn't go with the updated bridge layout from Generations, personally I kind of liked the additional consoles along the side pathways.

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1 hour ago, lechuck said:

Just watched ep. 9 last night and what can I say...

YES, YES and YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! (with double fists!) – Starfleet's finest and best starship is back, Galaxy class forever!

Now if the wormhole beings are with me, there will be a saucer separation and we finally get to see the stardrive section in full glorious battle action.

Also it is interesting that Geordi/producers didn't go with the updated bridge layout from Generations, personally I kind of liked the additional consoles along the side pathways.

Clearly, Geordi was feeling very nostalgic! Though I don't think they could do a saucer separation, unless Geordi automated the hell out of that. They have barely enough crew just to man the main bridge.

11 hours ago, Roy Focker said:

We know they're going to somehow save the day, but the Federation is still doomed.

Every crewman under 25 been turned and killed every crewman over 25. They'll turn the junior crew back to normal, but the veterans will still be dead. There will not be enough experienced members to crew these ships. You've got the Enterprize D Command Crew and Officers serving on Star Bases to take command of all of Star Fleet but that's not enough to defend the Federation from the next invasion. Newly appointed 19-year-old Captains will be outsmarted by the Ferengi who keeps tricking them to trade their ships for magic beans.

 

Thoughts exactly. Their officer corps has been decimated! It's a good thing the Romulans are still on their heels after losing Romulus and the Klingons are now allies. But it will be a very turbulent decade following this.

I wouldn't be surprised if the entire TNG crew ends up back on the E-D helping to train-up and rehabilitate the ranks. One thing is for certain, Picard will not be the only one now living with that kind of guilt!

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