Jump to content

GI Joe live-action movie!


David Hingtgen

Recommended Posts

A live action GI Joe movie, dear god why? The cartoon was bad enough.

Normally I don't like to judge movies before seeing them, but I can tell this is going to suck bigger than a giant sucking machine manufactured on the planet of Suck!

I suppose it will be filled with dozens of D grade actors that nobody has ever heard of and there will be thousands of rounds fired, but no one ever gets shot or killed, ditto the A-Team movie.

Oh well, I suppose there will be some preteens somewhere in the world who may like it.

The best thing for somebody to do to Hollywood right now would be to drop a nuke on it.

Graham

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Roy beat me to it. This movie will look like Street Fighter: the movie.

Or probably closer to the truth it will look like: The Village People: The movie!

It could be a musical and the bad guy drones can sing "Cobra cobra maan, I'm gonna be a cobra maan!" :p

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought Street Fighter when this was announced. Sure it could be done all dark, with lots of depth to the characters, hidden agendas or motivation. But thats not what will happen. They are going to look at the old 80's cartoon and try and figure out how they can turn that into something that appeals to multiple demographics. So the movie will be an action film/love story/drama disaster.

If Michael Biehn was in it, ( thats the guy from aliens right?) he's older now but still a cool dude to have in the flick, that make it more watchable.

I bet the first thing the studios slash are those fantastic fantasy weapons of cobra, like the giant helecopter base, snakehead submarines, and gothic mountain hide out. They will want to make it believable, like X-men, so Cobra will be a secret lab in a higihschool developing chemical weapons or something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How about Jackie Chan as "Kwick Kick" and Bruce Campbell as 'Ship Wreck"?

LOL! Those are such great choices. Perfect fit.

I nominate Keanu Reeves to play both of the evil accountant circus twins. (forget what they were called.)

sigh. No doubt the actual casting will be far less than optimal, and that this will indeed be Streetfighter redux.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With Ray Parks being cast as Iron Fist and having played Darth Maul, I think he would make a great Snake Eyes. A good Storm Shadow (Joe or Cobra version), especially with his moody characters in his American films, would be Jet Li.

hkfilm-jetli.jpg

Someone mentioned at the Mylene costume thread that Famke Janssen should play the baroness. Given her performance as Xenia Onatopp in Golden Eye, she would be perfect as the Baroness.

039_18670_rt.jpg

famke27.jpg

And to the image that started this thread, Gina Gato looks hot ;) , but I doubt she has enough acting experience to play the Baroness. For more on her, check out my comments at the Mylene Costume thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A good Storm Shadow (Joe or Cobra version), especially with his moody characters in his American films, would be Jet Li.

Whoa there....casting Jet Li in this film might actually give it credibility. We can't have that, can we? No, I think a better choice would be that guy who played "Lightning" in Big Trouble in Little China. :lol:

And given his age, I think Michael Biehn would be much better suited to play Hawk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I second Chuey's recommendations.

Also,

Wesley Snipes for Road Block.

Jesse Ventura for Gung-ho.

David Spade should be Cobra Commander. :blink:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David McDonough(Band Of Brothers) as Duke:

neal_mcdonough.jpg

Julianne Moore as Scarlet:

julianne14.jpg

Linda Fiorentino as the baroness:

alindaf46.jpg

and finally...

Bender as Destro:

bender.jpg

David McDonough as Duke:Yes

Julliane Moore as Scarlet:Yes

Serpentor:???

Globulus:???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There actual was Cobra the musical. It wasn't offical and I didn't see it.

I can verify that. A couple of friends went to see it and couldn't stop talking/singing the songs for a week.

:blink::blink::unsure::ph34r:

http://www.geocities.com/cobra_musical/home.htm

Evil Dead: the musical was a hoot though. Great fun and laughs from beginning to end. (I want the Soundtrack!!)

http://www.evildeadthemusical.com/

http://www.geocities.com/lostnprofound/evildead.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My question is will the end of the movie feature a spot where some dumbass suburban kids are in their backyard thinking of smoking, drinking, climbing that phone pole, doing drugs or having some other life experience when all of a sudden the Joes emerge from their hiding spots in the yard just in the nick of time to set those well meaning kids on the road to stuffy midwestern values and white bread living!

Because Knowing is half the battle!

(This movie will suck so bad that the other half of the battle will be trying to get your $7.50 back from the ticket window out front)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can you guys possibly invision a live action movie featuring these characters:

serppic.gif

Destro.gif

zartan.gif

Honestly it will look like such crap I can't even believe it... The only thought I have for them is to one down the character looks to the point where they are believable, however that wouldn't really be GI JOE would it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My question is will the end of the movie feature a spot where some dumbass suburban kids are in their backyard thinking of smoking, drinking, climbing that phone pole, doing drugs or having some other life experience when all of a sudden the Joes emerge from their hiding spots in the yard just in the nick of time to set those well meaning kids on the road to stuffy midwestern values and white bread living!

Because Knowing is half the battle!

LOL! exactly...and will the movie feature gunfights in which NO ONE gets shot or dies?

Remember when they released that GI Joe figure that was based on the Fridge, William Perry, from the Chicago Bears? His weapon was this mace-like thing that was football-shaped instead of round on the end of it, I think?

Well...that's one casting choice they don't have to work on.

I say cast Clay Aiken as Cobra Commander.

Jack Black as Destro. :ph34r:

Edited by Sarensaas
Link to comment
Share on other sites

to be done right, this kind of movie needs an ensemble cast of good, but lower tier actors, it shouldn't be that hard to fill up the roles. i think a couple good choices have been made, lets see if i can give some more.

baroness- famke jansen (good choice)

scarlett- jennifer garner (with a minor dye job)

snake eyes- ray park (we know he's good with the silent bit)

storm shadow- jet li (this way they're both short, so it works)

rock and roll- Matthew McConaughey (think reign of fire, but without the suckage)

jinx- Zhang Ziyi

ship wreck- bruce cambell (how can you go wrong?)

flint- Michael Biehn

i'm not so sure about the others, but the movie would have to include Zartan and the dreadnoks, and some decent armor designs for the vipers, crimson guards and the standard masked cobra baddies. we'd also have to see roadblock, duke, destro, and cobra commander. its more difficult deciding who not to include than it is casting people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can you guys possibly invision a live action movie featuring these characters:

serppic.gif

Destro.gif

zartan.gif

Honestly it will look like such crap I can't even believe it... The only thought I have for them is to one down the character looks to the point where they are believable, however that wouldn't really be GI JOE would it?

Just remember, they did it with these characters:

0785102566.jpg

I'm not offering hope... just suggesting a small amount of possibilities. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just remember, they did it with these characters:

0785102566.jpg

I'm not offering hope... just suggesting a small amount of possibilities. :(

Yeah, but I would argue that Xmen is a much more valued brand than GI JOE. They also had a real producer. You do bring up a good point though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Hulk was a good movie.

So was Mortal Kombat 1.

So was Scooby Doo.

You guys just must not remember how cheesy the source material was. Scooby Doo was hilarious, Mortal Kombat was basically like playing the game for 1.5 hours... the Hulk was just plain awesome. If you're gonna lump those movies in there, you'd better lump X-Men and X2 also.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Hulk was a good movie.

So was Mortal Kombat 1.

So was Scooby Doo.

You guys just must not remember how cheesy the source material was. Scooby Doo was hilarious, Mortal Kombat was basically like playing the game for 1.5 hours... the Hulk was just plain awesome. If you're gonna lump those movies in there, you'd better lump X-Men and X2 also.

Hey, you and EXO both make good points, but my spider sense is tingling... It is telling me that this movie is going to be icon8.gif.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If they go ahead with this movie...and I have a sick feeling they will...they should pull an X-Men and go back and start from scratch. Go back to the initial 12 Joes or so. Otherwise the movie will probably bog down in too many stupid characters and stories. We all remember Batman & Robin, don't we?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aw hell, here we go....

My Big No-Talent cast for the GI Joe live action movie

Duke - Paul Walker

Gung Ho - Vin Diesel

Stalker - Ludacris

Snake Eyes - Ray Park

Help me out here, gang. Who's even less talented that could play the Cobra characters?

So you're going for the Fast & The Furious approach, eh BSU? :lol:

If you're going for the no talent approach, you can't leave out Keanu Reeves. If you do, he might think he's actually good...

He forgot The Rock, too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rocky and Bullwinkle

Tomb Raider

The Phantom

Hulk

He-man

Double Dragon

Mortal Kombat (has a kick @ss soundtrack though)

Street Fighter

George of the Jungle

You left out these titles:

Captain America

Fantastic Four

The Flintstones

Inspector Gadget

Josie and the Pussycats

Mr. Magoo

Scooby-Doo

Steel

Oops. My bad. I knew I was missing more. Working 60-70 hours a week is effectively killing my brain cells. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My GIJOE, RAH dreamcast is.:D

General Flagg-Jon Voight

General Hawk-Robert Redford

Duke-Ed Harris

Snake Eyes-Ray Park

Gung Ho-Fred Dryer/Bruce Willis (Tie)

Beachhead-George Clooney

Spirit-Wes Studi

Rock N' Roll-Owen Wilson (he needs a beard)

Sgt. Slaughter-Himself

Sgt. Stalker-Samuel L. Jackson (he was great in Basic)

Grunt-Richard Burgie (UPN/SCI-FI's The Sentinel)

Roadblock-Ving Rhames

Cover Girl-Holly Hunter

Scarlet-Julianne Moore

Flint-Nicholas Cage

Lady Jaye-Demi Moore

Storm Shadow-Sho Kosugi

Jinx-Bai Ling

Tunnel Rat-Jet Li

Lt. Falcon-Colin Farrell

Heavy Duty-Mekhi Pfiefer

Dusty-Viggo Mortensen

From the Image Series.

GIJOE's Junior Hackers

Daemon-Haley Joel Osment

Firewall-Allison Lohman

Cobra dreamcast :D

Tomax,Xamot-Antonio Banderas

Zartan-Johnny Depp

Big Boa-WWE's Kane,Glen Jacobs

Dr. Mindbender-Christopher Lloyd

The Gladiator from the first GIjoe RAH animation-WWE's Triple H, Jean Paul Levesque

The Baroness-Cathrine Zeta-Jones

B.A.T.S.-CG

More Soon!

~G25

Edited by gerwalk25
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...