Totally Off Topic - But FREAKIN ME OUT

[Californium]

BTW, have one of your co-workers leave a note here so we can find out what happened after you dissapear. I hate lack of closure on stories

[KingNor]

its been a while, when is the next pakage due? use dates since if you say "today" it gets confusing.

[Duke Togo]

FREAKING ME OUT MAN!!

You are freaking out... MAN

[Mechamaniac]

its been a while, when is the next pakage due? use dates since if you say "today" it gets confusing.

Well, if the last two days shows anything...

Sunday 12/14, got a call, got a package.

Monday, 12/15 got a call, got a package.

Tuesday, 12/16 - PENDING

Each note makes reference to the 1st day of Christmas, the 2nd day of Christmas etc.

So, I can only assume there will be one daily until Christmas day.

[tom64ss]

The Agent ONE way to handle this: Jerk off on the door knob and set up a web cam to monitor who comes up to the door and messes their hand up.

That's be funny as hell, except the "elves" don't use the door knob. They call and say it's sitting in front of the door. The only person that would end up with a mess on their hand is MM or his wife.

Actually, that'd still be funny.

Dude, your wife is having one of her friends do this.

Yeah, that gets my vote as "most likely"

[cwbrown]

You know though, if you find out who it is, you should catch them up on a little religious history.

The twelve days of Christmas come after Christmas Day.

[tom64ss]

You know though, if you find out who it is, you should catch them up on a little religious history.

The twelve days of Christmas come after Christmas Day.

Well, at least we know it's not really elves.

[F-ZeroOne]

[3) Any connection to someone with a name of Justin

If any of these things come up, then you might worry.

And just what is wrong with being called Justin, hmm...? <glares> Well, I mean asides from being expected to leap around a stage in a 70s era jumpsuit screaming "I believe in a thing called love!" in a high falsetto...

Glad you asked, because now I can tell you about my theory that one of the Antichrist's name's is Justin. Notice it's 6-letter's long, and how many Justin's do you know in your life are evil? Putting a little more on the line, evil in the sense that publicy they seem to be decent people, but when you get to know them a little better they had some evil streak going, of various degrees. I can think of 3 off the top of my head, and when I stated this opinion to 3 other people I know, all the Justins they could think off had a good bit of evil to them as well. Just don't say I didn't give you a head's up.

Well, I guess theres nothing else for it, then.

FOOLS! I'll destroy you all! WHA-HA-HA-HAH!!!

( I suppose being the Anti-Christ beats all those incredibly original "time" jokes... )

[dna]

This thread is too good.

[Abombz!!]

The Agent ONE way to handle this: Jerk off on the door knob and set up a web cam to monitor who comes up to the door and messes their hand up.

The Agent ONE way to handle this? Sounds more like the sick pervert, who likes to touch himself and jerk off on a door nob way to handle this.

[bob joe mac]

*waits to see what happens tonight*

[Nightbat]

The sick pervert, who likes to touch himself and jerk off on a door nob way to handle this.

There you have it... "The Agent One Way"

[bsu legato]

I'm not convinced. I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something Lovecraft-ian about all of this. Have you perhaps been reading aloud from the Necronomicon, becasue I have to warn you that those are not Christmas carols.

[Abombz!!]

I'm not convinced. I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something Lovecraft-ian about all of this. Have you perhaps been reading aloud from the Necronomicon, becasue I have to warn you that those are not Christmas carols.

Who knows... maybe Chuthulu(sp) is paying him a visit.

[GreenGuy42]

I'm not convinced. I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something Lovecraft-ian about all of this. Have you perhaps been reading aloud from the Necronomicon, becasue I have to warn you that those are not Christmas carols.

Who knows... maybe Chuthulu(sp) is paying him a visit.

Phish.. Cthulhu is just a priest of a much more POWERFUL diety.....

Oh, and for your reading enjoyment.... *WARNING* Long...

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas,

and all through the train

Not a creature was stirring,

save Blackadder in pain.

The shotguns were hung

by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Cthulhu

soon would be there.

The investigators were nestled

all snug in their bunks,

Arm, chest and leg

packed away safely in trunks.

And Betty in her kerchief,

and Higgins in his cap,

Had just settled down

for a long winter's nap -

When out in the lounge

there arose such a clatter

We all sprang from our beds

to see what was the matter.

Reggie tripped over Baldrick

with his usual panache,

Tommy fell onto William

who threw up in the trash.

Blackadder burst into the room

and started to shout,

fell over the trunk

and knocked himself out.

When what sight to our

wondering eyes should bring

but a miniature sleigh

and eight tiny squidling.

With a cephalapod driver

so slimey and blue,

we knew in a moment

it must be Cthulhu!

More rapid than Elders

his spawn as they came,

and he squealed and screeched

and called them by name.

"Now, Basher! now, Rancid!

now, Cancer and Xixen!

On, Vomit! on, Putrid!

on, Spawner and Blitzen! -

To the end of the train,

spread your horror and fright,

do it quickly and well

or no manflesh tonight!"

As dry leaves that before

the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle

mount to the sky,

So down to the train

the squidlings they oozed,

With a sleigh full of Deep Ones -

all part of the ruse.

And then, in a twinkling,

as we witnessed this spectacle,

we heard the slithering and sucking

of each tiny tentacle.

As Blackadder sat up

and William gave a huge belch

Down the chimney Cthulhu

came with a squelch:

He was covered all in slime

in his eye an evil wink,

And his tentacles all covered

with ashes and ink.

A bundle of lawn gnomes

he had flung on his back,

And he looked like Hell's Peddler

just opening his sack.

His scales, how they glistened!

his eyes, how merry!

His cheeks were all rotten

his nose grey and hairy;

His cavernous mouth

was draw up like a bow,

and the blood on his chin

had an unholy glow.

The stump of a leg

he held tight in his teeth,

And the blood, it encircled

his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face

and a big moldy belly

That shook, when he laughed,

like a boat full of jelly.

He was laughing and screeching -

a right jolly old squid:

And I laughed when I saw him,

in spite of my dread;

A wink of an eye,

and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know

we might soon all be dead.

He spoke not a word,

but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings

with the Lad, Lass and Turk.

Then, curling a tentacle

around Baldrick's nose,

And giving a nod,

up the chimney he rose.

He metamorphed in his sleigh,

to his spawn gave a shriek,

And away they all went

with an ungodly reek.

But I heard him exclaim,

ere they oozed out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all,

and to all a good night!"

[Nightbat]

Don't forget this one:

Al Bundy's Christmas Eve

't Was the night before Christmas,

And all through the house,

No food was a-stirrin',

Not even a mouse.

Stockings were hung round

Dad's neck like a tie,

Along with a note that said,

"Presents or die."

Children were plotting

All night in their beds,

While the wife's constant whining

Was splitting his head.

But daddy had money

This year in the bank,

Then they closed up early,

And now dad's in a tank.

All of a sudden,

Santa appeared,

A sneer on his face,

Booze in his beard.

"Santa," I said,

As he laughed merrily,

"You do so much for others,

Do something for me."

"Bundy," he said,

"You only sell shoes,

Your son is a sneak thief,

Your daughter's a floose."

"Ho ho," Santa said,

"Should I mention your wife?

Her hair's like an A-bomb,

Her nails like a knife."

He climbs up the chimney,

That fat piece of dung,

He mooned me two times,

He stuck out his tongue.

I heard him exclaim,

As he broke wind with glee,

"You're married with children,

You'll never be free."

[Graham]

I'm not convinced. I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something Lovecraft-ian about all of this. Have you perhaps been reading aloud from the Necronomicon, becasue I have to warn you that those are not Christmas carols.

Hmmm........if it's the Agent One way, do you REALLY want to 'put your finger on it'?

Graham

[dna]

The Agent ONE way to handle this: Jerk off on the door knob and set up a web cam to monitor who comes up to the door and messes their hand up.

The Agent ONE way to handle this? Sounds more like the sick pervert, who likes to touch himself and jerk off on a door nob way to handle this.

You act like that's a bad thing.

[scand]

What's the dealio Yo?

This threads got me in suspense! I've been checking in for a while.

Edited December 17, 2003 by scand

[eriku]

Yeah, he hasn't replied yet this evening, I hope it didn't actually turn into something bad.

[Keith]

Yeah, he hasn't replied yet this evening, I hope it didn't actually turn into something bad.

Yeah, what if his wife catch's him pokin' the psycho chick, that could get ugly.

[Commander McBride]

Maybe he's still outside staking out the door.

[Graham]

Yeah, he hasn't replied yet this evening, I hope it didn't actually turn into something bad.

Yeah, what if his wife catch's him pokin' the psycho chick, that could get ugly.

No, no no, Keith. Remember back on page 2, I reckon Beware of Blast got it correct.

It's not a Psycho Chick, it's a Huge, Ugly, Fat and Hairy Man who doesn't like using condoms

Anybody watched Deliverance? 'Squeal Piggy, Squeal'!

Poor Mechamaniac

Graham

[Keith]

Yeah, he hasn't replied yet this evening, I hope it didn't actually turn into something bad.

Yeah, what if his wife catch's him pokin' the psycho chick, that could get ugly.

No, no no, Keith. Remember back on page 2, I reckon Beware of Blast got it correct.

It's not a Psycho Chick, it's a Huge, Ugly, Fat and Hairy Man who doesn't like using condoms

Anybody watched Deliverance? 'Squeal Piggy, Squeal'!

Poor Mechamaniac

Graham

I hope he remembered to tell a coworker to give us a heads up on how it ended...

[Isamu Atreides 86]

Yeah, he hasn't replied yet this evening, I hope it didn't actually turn into something bad.

Yeah, what if his wife catch's him pokin' the psycho chick, that could get ugly.

No, no no, Keith. Remember back on page 2, I reckon Beware of Blast got it correct.

It's not a Psycho Chick, it's a Huge, Ugly, Fat and Hairy Man who doesn't like using condoms

Anybody watched Deliverance? 'Squeal Piggy, Squeal'!

Poor Mechamaniac

Graham

thats certainly a disturbing thought....

Run if you hear any Banjo's playing....

[Sumdumgai]

MM do you have teenage kids? Could they be pulling this off?

If you have the Evil Dead Collector's Edition, that comes in the Necronomicon book/case, lock it up at night! Mine likes to occassionally dissappear and then reappear when I notice that it's gone...

If/when you find out who's doing this, maybe you should do a little payback! A little phone call, "What's your favorite scary movie?" Or a horse's head on their bed before they wake up. j/k

We're waiting to hear what happened on the 16th!

[J A Dare]

The Agent ONE way to handle this: Jerk off on the door knob and set up a web cam to monitor who comes up to the door and messes their hand up.

The Agent ONE way to handle this? Sounds more like the sick pervert, who likes to touch himself and jerk off on a door nob way to handle this.

Note to self: If next MacrossWorld Bay Area meet is at Agent ONE's home, be sure to wear surgical gloves.

[Graham]

Poor Agent One, we're probably never gonna let him forget this are we

Graham

[Mechamaniac]

Well, last night..... 12/16

I staked out from 8:55 to 9:45 and noone showed up.

Then I gave up, and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen.

Around 1020, I went back upstairs, and checked the door on my way....

Another package, another note, a few minutes later, another phone call.....

So tonight, I will be watching

[Warmaker]

lol!

[Nightbat]

Well, last night..... 12/16

I staked out from 8:55 to 9:45 and noone showed up.

Then I gave up, and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen.

Around 1020, I went back upstairs, and checked the door on my way....

Another package, another note, a few minutes later, another phone call.....

So tonight, I will be watching

Oh, good, thought the Mrs caught you doin'the "Agent One-way" on the doorknob and subjecting you to Chinese watertorture ("Ecchi is Bad!")

They know who you are, where you're going, what you do when you do it

check all the buttons on shirts, trousers, jackets, coats, check your wallet - for any strange things that might resemble cameras, microphones GPR trackers, whatever

[Abombz!!]

Well, last night..... 12/16

I staked out from 8:55 to 9:45 and noone showed up.

Then I gave up, and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen.

Around 1020, I went back upstairs, and checked the door on my way....

Another package, another note, a few minutes later, another phone call.....

So tonight, I will be watching

If its a guy.... tie one of his testicles to a heavy rock and throw it out of the window while having him tied up to a chair or bed.... now thats what I can painful!

[tom64ss]

Well, last night..... 12/16

I staked out from 8:55 to 9:45 and noone showed up.

Then I gave up, and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen.

Around 1020, I went back upstairs, and checked the door on my way....

Another package, another note, a few minutes later, another phone call.....

So tonight, I will be watching

Now I'm totally convinced its the wife and one of her friends.

What did you get this time and what did the note say?

[Mechamaniac]

Now I'm totally convinced its the wife and one of her friends.

What did you get this time and what did the note say?

Nope, not the wife, though she's probably responsible for the difference in the time.

Blabbermouth went and told everyone she works with about it, and told her friends and crap too . She told them that we would be watching. So, therefore, if it was anyone of them, they would know to come at a different time. I guess I have to give her a briefiing on InfoSec, OpSec, and Need to Know.

But I know it is not her, as I said before, the stuff they are leaving is meant for everyone, not one person in particular.

Last night, it was 4 of those M&M gift tubes with the little figures on top of them.

And the note said....

On the 3rd day of Christmas

A treat for your delight

Red and Green M&M's

Try one or two tonight

Love, your Secret Elves.

[Anubis]

Well, last night..... 12/16

I staked out from 8:55 to 9:45 and noone showed up.

Then I gave up, and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen.

Around 1020, I went back upstairs, and checked the door on my way....

Another package, another note, a few minutes later, another phone call.....

So tonight, I will be watching

What did the note say this time?

BTW: Yeah, Agent One stuck his foot in his mouth on this one.