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Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
The Asylum, 2009
Directed by Ace Hannah (a.k.a. Jack Perez, who directed Wild Things 2)
Running Time: 90 minutes
Rated R for violence, mature situations, profanity and suggestive drug use on the part of The Asylum.

Cast
Deborah Gibson as Dr. Emma MacNeil
Vic Chao as Prof. Seiji Shimada
Sean Lawlor as Prof. Lamar Sanders
Lorenzo Lamas as Allan Baxter

Synopsis
When oceanographer Emma MacNeil "borrows" a submarine to study whale migration off the coast of Alaska, a low-frequency sonar device is suddenly dropped by a military helicopter, causing the whales to go berserk and ram a nearby glacier. This incident unearths and awakens a Megalodon (a giant prehistoric shark) and a Giant Octopus from their 10-million-year suspended animation. All hell breaks loose, now that they're awake - whales are found mutilated everywhere, an oil rig in Japan is destroyed by the octopus in seconds and the shark defies physics by eating a 747 from 30,000 feet in the sky. After a failed attempt to corral both sea creatures in Tokyo Bay and San Francisco - resulting in the shark taking a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge, Emma, along with her mentor Lamar Sanders and Japanese scientist Seiji Shimada, proposes to have the shark and octopus stage their "Thrilla in Manila" and kill each other off before they create any further damage.

Lowdown
I know what you're thinking: What the hell am I doing reviewing a crappy B-movie? It's not like I've never done that before; after all, I did sit through the sci-fi abomination that is Resiklo. So what could possibly be worse than that?

Well, the first indication to this film is that it's produced by The Asylum - the same people who brought us low-budget "mockbusters" like Transmorphers, AVH: Alien vs. Hunter, Snakes on a Train and The Terminators. Not a good start at all, right?

Then comes the second indication: the cast. We all know that former soap opera star Lorenzo Lamas is pretty much washed out, but former teen idol Deborah Gibson in the lead role? She must be desperate, as her Playboy stint years ago was a disaster, and I've read that she recently sold her house.

In typical B-movie fashion, the acting is atrocious, the storyline is riddled with plot loopholes you can jump your car through, and the CG effects are downright cheesy. So why, then, is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus not reviewed as a bad movie? Well, it's simple: it's a movie so bad, it's actually good. The scene where the shark eats a 747 alone saves the whole movie. This film makes a perfect party piece if you're in the mood to laugh at something - whether or not you're smoking a joint on the side.

In a nutshell, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is a bad movie that you'd actually want to show your friends. As long as there's enough booze in the house.

Rating: B+ (if you're stoned); D+ (for everyone else)

Links
Official Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus Homepage

References
The Internet Movie Database

Edited by areaseven
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Then comes the second indication: the cast. We all know that former soap opera star Lorenzo Lamas is pretty much washed out,

Ha, I'll never get enough of Lorenzo Lamas in his show Renegade. There's more laugh material if you ever need it...

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Ha, I'll never get enough of Lorenzo Lamas in his show Renegade. There's more laugh material if you ever need it...

Every time I hear the name Lorenzo Lamas I am taken here and its a nice place.......

Taksraven

gnite.

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Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original.

Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though.

And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive.

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Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original.

Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though.

And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive.

not really all that original either...

Boa_vs._Python.jpg

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It's even better in context...there has been NO, I repeat NO chemistry between the two characters at that point in the movie, and earlier that day, the guy's best friend got eaten by a shark the size of a luxury yacht. Nothing like tragedy to grant you instant charm and the ability to make witty, flirtatious banter!

(Yes, I watched the whole movie. If you see the clip above, and all the clips of the shark eating boatloads of people, you don't need to see the rest.)

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Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original.

Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though.

And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive.

It isn't really "debate" but more like a few crazy people clinging to the notion. There has also been some issues with accurately dating the teeth but usually that boils down to "is the tooth super old (30Million years) or just really old (2 to 3 million years)?"

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Just finished watching Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. It was pretty funny because of how bad it was. This movie was produced by Dean Learner and written by Garth Marenghi. :D

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  • 1 year later...

megasharkvscrocosaurus.jpg

Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

The Asylum, 2010

Directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray

Running Time: 90 minutes

Rated R for graphic violence, profanity and suggestive drug use on the part of The Asylum.

Cast

Jaleel White (Sonic the Hedgehog, Steve Urkel in Family Matters) as Lt. Terry McCormick

Gary Stretch (Cleitus in Alexander) as Nigel Putnam

Sarah Lieving (Emergency technician in Lakeview Terrace) as Special Agent Hutchinson

Robert Picardo (Robert McNamara in Call of Duty: Black Ops, The Doctor in Star Trek: Voyager) as Admiral Calvin

Synopsis

Deep in the jungles of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, a giant 1,500-foot crocodile emerges to terrorize everything in its path. Meanwhile, the Megalodon from Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus returns from the deep to once again lay waste on any naval vessel on the ocean. When both species cross paths off the coast of Florida, only a ragtag team consisting of Lt. Terry McCormick, Special Agent Hutchinson and freelance hunter Nigel Putnam can stop them from causing further destruction.

Lowdown

After the much-hyped Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, it was evident that The Asylum was gonna do a sequel. Is it worse than the first? Absolutely! But it's still far from being the worst movie ever made.

Just like its predecessor, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus tries too hard to be an awful B-movie with its horrid script, lousy acting and laughable special effects. But all of that just ends up being too funny to piss anyone off. Casting Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White alone is a barrel of laughs, as he can never do a serious role. Sarah Lieving is hot and all, but given her track record, one must wonder why she's stuck with starring in The Asylum movies. Robert Picardo, despite being a very good actor, doesn't do much in the film.

The special effects are actually much less than what you expect from The Asylum. Both the Megalodon and Crocosaurus are poorly-rendered, with their proportions completely out of scale throughout the film. The same footage is also recycled, but flipped horizontally to fool people into either seeing different camera angles or locations.

In short, if you enjoyed the first film, you're not missing much. Otherwise, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus is a waste of time.

Rating: C- (if you're stoned); D- (for everyone else)

Links

Official Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus Homepage

References

The Internet Movie Database

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