As others have stated, the biggest problem is that you went straight from the original Macross series with Robotech mindset to Macross Zero, a series which was suppose to help bridge the gap from Macross to Mac 7/Frontier. Macross Zero makes little sense as a strict prequel to Macross and by viewing it as such you get a royally ****** up story. Aside from Roy and the VF-0, there are no clear cut ties to the original series which would explain how a fan such as yourself could feel betrayed.
However when viewed as the first chapter to the entire Macross universe, Zero makes perfect sense especially after viewing Mac 7 and Frontier. Trust me the stuff in Zero is realistic compared to the over the top nature of Mac 7. As Keith said, you are dealing with a Super Robot Pilot in a realistic universe (more specifically, a singing plot device).
Generally speaking, the original Macross, DYRL, and Macross Plus are the most well received. Frontier is more geared towards the current anime crowd so it may seem a little juvenile for fans of the original series. Zero was, as you can tell, not met with universal praise but it does have it's share of loyal fans. Mac 7 is the most off the wall series in the Macross universe so it gets the most hate.