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So... I have a pretty high tolerance for bad movies.  I mean, I was entertained by stuff like Dragon Ball.  So, when I heard that Morbius was bad I thought, "It's ok, it's a movie about a relatively obscure comic book character.  Not a ton of people are going to like it, but I'll probably still dig it."

Nope.

I mean, there's a lot of stuff that's kind of poorly explained.  Like, if Morbius and Milo have a blood disease caused by a missing gene, and Morbius has the technology to splice vampire bat DNA into human cells... wouldn't it make a lot more sense to use the same technology to splice the missing human gene into their DNA?  And, OK, so Morbius added some bat DNA to his genome.  So he gets bat powers, sure.  Echolocation, fangs, claws, sure, heck, I'll even allow super strength.  But I didn't realize bats are flying around with smoke trailing behind them all the time, or that their pupils turn into Spirographs whenever they use their echolocation.

But hey, like I said, I knew this movie was bad, and I've got a high tolerance for bad.  I'll allow all of it "so the movie can happen," as Ryan George's writer might say.  No, the real problem isn't a questionable power set and dubious origin story.  The real problem is that, for a movie about a vampire anti-hero, it's so boring!  There's a ton of setup before Morbius gets his powers, a few scenes of Morbius exploring his powers, tons of exposition and character dialog after, a few quick scenes with the villain killing someone, but only maybe two action scenes in the entire movie.  And, ok, not every movie, or even every comic book movie, needs to be action.  Sure.  If the story did something clever, explored some philosophical idea, or brought something novel to the table then there'd be at least some redeeming feature to mention, but no.  This has got to be one of the most-predictable films I've seen in years.  Like, I'm not even super worried about typing any spoilers here because you'll know who the villain is, how the villain gets his powers, and what Morbius will have to do to win maybe ten minutes into the movie.

Don't waste your time.

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1 hour ago, Seto Kaiba said:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2022/06/04/box-office-jared-leto-morbius-bombs-again-with-85000-friday/?sh=58afc67a1cee

Morbius limped back into theaters on the back of a meme and earned... only $85K upon its return?

Sony mistook the memes for general interest in what is, ultimately, a very dull movie.

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